Movie review - A Ghost Story

"One of 2017's best films", "brilliant and profound", "a near masterpiece", wow great reviews there.

Hmmm.......

Yes it's one of "THOSE" movies. The ones that get rave reviews from... somewhere. I can't make out the names on the poster. I could be cruel or try to be funny and say perhaps they are from The Lunatic Asylum In-patients Review and the Sandwich Short of a Picnic Times but I won't do that. (Although I still made the joke lol, best of both worlds) 

I used to do a fanzine and I'd review everything using my patented 'cup of tea' ratings system where I would mark stuff out of how much it personally appealed to me. Just because I thought this was pointless, boring, silly and pretentious bilge it doesn't mean that it actually is. It just is for me. And my girlfriend and quite a lot of people on IMDB too. I am sure there are plenty of other people who's tastes differ a million miles away from my own who loved it. Cool. Good for them. I never want to meet these people though as their tastes are so diametrically opposed to my own that I fear we'd probably hate one another. Plus they'd probably also smell of wee and dribble a lot. (Joking!) 

First off I will warn you this is not a horror by any stretch of the imagination, nor is it scary or creepy or even trying to be. So what is it trying to do? 

So this is profound apparently but I just found it profoundly silly, if there was a reason that the ghosts are made out of sheets like an unimaginative child's 1st Halloween costume I can't fathom it. There is even a neighbour ghost later in a flowery sheet who our main ghost communicates to telepathically I suppose and we see subtitles of their banal conversation. 

It's also profoundly boring. Even before one of the two characters dies they just mumble to each other about nothing much. After the death they have even less interaction, the one mopes whilst the other watches. Eventually the living person moves out, we see other families come and go. There is a scene where the ghost goes full poltergeist mode for an unknown reason and starts throwing plates around, scaring the crap out've a mother and her children. Later during a party scene in the house the usual drunk/stoned blowhard nonsense philosopher gives a turgid diatribe on their thoughts of life, the universe and everything and on how we are all but motes of dust in the cosmic wind blah blah blah. It was like one of those typical deep sounding conversations you have when you are drunk and wake up and think, "blimey we didn't half talk rubbish last night!"

Then the film just gets profoundly ridiculous and then it ends and not a moment too soon just like this review!! 😜